Sex, Shame, and Should I?

     So there has been this story going around Christian circles. You might have seen it; it's about a young woman who waited till marriage to have sex, and for some reason, she regretted it. A lot of good Christian writers have written out heartfelt and well thought out responses. One of the themes of these responses is that Christians need to talk about sex more. And yes, we do need to talk about sex more often, but we also need to make sure we're saying the right things. We need to be more in depth. We need to make sure that we're accurate and honest with what we're saying.

     There is this woman. She got married recently and regrets saving herself for marriage. It seems that the main reason for this is that she has some beliefs about sex that are unbiblical, unchristian, and harmful. It's not her fault that she has these false ideas. These lies about sex came from somewhere. Did someone teach her these heresies? Maybe. I think it is more likely that they developed from a vacuum. There was a vacuum of sound theological teaching on sex, and in the absence of light all sorts of lies dance in the darkness.

     So lets talk about sex. Abstinence seems to be as good of place as any to begin.

     First off, there a are thousand reasons to wait until marriage. Seriously, the benefits are countless. It protects you from so much, teaches you so much, plus it builds your character. However, for many teenagers, in the hormonal wonderland of adolescence, this really doesn't matter. The only reason that can really stand against the desire for sex is the desire to please God. It is the only reason strong enough, that we want to be Christian and to live a holy lifestyle. Christians have to love God more then sex, and during the single years the only way to that is refrain from sex. In this way, self-control is worship.

     Secondly, abstinence is incredibly, unbelievably difficult, but not impossible. I know this from experience. I lost my virginity to my wife, on my wedding night, at the age of 27. A lot of married folk don't remember, but it was only a year ago for me. Guys, girls, it is not going to be easy. It doesn't get easy, ever. If you think it's hard in the teens years, just wait until your twenties. Then just wait till you meet someone that makes you feel the way I feel about Kayte. If your committing to wait, you need to know what your getting into. You are going to need self-control and commitment. The person you're falling for is going to need it too.

     Finally, and please pay careful attention to this; once you get married, abstinence stops. Yes, every day up until that day you must strive, you must fight to be in control of your body. It's a spiritual act of worship to God. Once you finish that race, once you put on those rings and the minister blesses you, that season ends. A new season begins, one where you get to make love your spouse, and yes, that is worship to God as well. It'll be awesome. It'll be whole.  There is absolutely no shame or sin in it.